


Last Resorts Of Good Men

by hinotoriii



Series: Oscar Trevelyan [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-10 00:57:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5562598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinotoriii/pseuds/hinotoriii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on the road back to camp after meeting with Dorian's father, Dorian feels he needs to apologise. Oscar, on the otherhand, is simply concerned for what it is Dorian has just had to go through without much warning.</p><p>Filled request for number 4: a forehead kiss in the <a href="http://mythalsfavour.tumblr.com/post/134218994398/in-honor-of-akuroku-month-and-also-boredom">kiss meme</a> prompt list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Resorts Of Good Men

**Author's Note:**

> A slightly belated Christmas gift-fic to myself, and to all my lovely readers out there. 
> 
> I suppose this is considered rather AU, as it deals with the quest _'Last Resort Of Good Men'_ differently than the canon game does. Consider it my headcanon for these two. Just a little idea I had from the kiss meme I reblogged a while ago on my [tumblr](http://mythalsfavour.tumblr.com/).

"I'm sorry you had to be present for that."  
  
Surprised, Oscar turns his head towards Dorian, staring with wide eyes. Dorian doesn't look at him, his forehead creased as he continues to stare ahead, focusing instead on travelling along the dirt path they're walking upon. His expression however is one that Oscar understands all too well, having worn it more than enough himself in the past.  
  
"Why are you sorry?" He asks, turning away. If anything, Oscar doesn't want to make things even more uncomfortable for Dorian by staring at him for far too long. "You're the one that was led to a meeting with your father under false pretences, not I. What we were met with when we walked into that tavern certainly wasn't something that you'd planned for yourself, nor was it what either of us were expecting either."  
  
Dorian sighs deeply.  
  
"I didn't, and it wasn't, no. That much is true. But I can still be sorry for how you ended up caught in the middle of such personal affairs anyway. You would have thought, what with how much my father does so love keeping everything unsavoury regarding our family swept under the rug so that we never have to speak of it back home, he'd feel less inclined to air out all our dirty business here of all places. Especially with you present. Don't take that the wrong way mind you, I merely mean that most look to provide a good impression when first meeting with your fine self."  
  
"Most families have their own problems, Dorian. I'm no stranger to that," Oscar glances at him quickly once again, noting how the frown Dorian wears deepens even further. He continues, hoping to reassure him in some way. "I wasn't embarrassed, if that's what concerns you. If anything, I felt angry at how you were put in that situation to begin with. If I had thought for a moment your father capable of such a ploy --"  
  
"You weren't to know," Dorian says with a short wave of his hand, brushing away Oscar's concerns. "I never spoke of how truly terrible he is, not that I felt I needed to do so before now." He shakes his head. "Either way, it hardly matters. I just -- I can only fathom to wonder how you must think of me now after this gigantic mess."  
  
"What? You think I'd think any differently of you?" Oscar asks, slowing his pace. Thankfully it's just the two of them walking along the path which leads away from Redcliffe's busy village, and Dorian’s own footsteps follow suit beside him.  
  
"I wouldn't blame you if you did. Most others would. Why, some would have a field day to discover all my feuding families dirty secrets without having to try and pry them from my father's cold, dead hands."  
  
"Maker guide me; I don't care about any of the details on your family's personal problems. At least not in that way."  
  
Oscar stops walking completely, turning himself fully to look at Dorian. He waits for Dorian to turn his gaze towards him before saying anything more, wanting to make sure he is able to see clearly for himself the determination and honesty which is written so clearly upon Oscar's own face. Oscar would not allow anyone to talk badly about any of his Inner Circle whilst they’re in his presence, and that included themselves. He especially feels that way when it comes to matters regarding Dorian, who Oscar knows sometimes needs convincing of just how truly valuable and worthwhile he is to not only their cause as a whole, but at simply being his friend.  
  
"What I care about is you as a person. That's all. If your father can't see how incredible it is that you truly are, then that's his loss. His thoughts do not manage to control or influence mine in any way, and neither does my opinion of you change so easily."  
  
Dorian's eyes widen with surprise, almost as if he finds it difficult to believe what he's hearing. After watching one another for a long moment he smiles, almost sadly, shaking his head and looking anywhere but Oscar. It causes Oscar's own brow to furrow at the sight.  
  
"You truly are one of the good sorts among us, aren't you?" Says Dorian, letting out a forced huff of laughter. He returns his gaze towards Oscar finally, who straightens his shoulders and waits for him to carry on. "A rare breed indeed. You are aware of what I told you earlier, yes? About how in Tevinter children are not usually born out of love or to be accepted regardless of whatever their seemed faults may be, but rather bred to attain what is seen as an image of perfection? They are merely objects in their parents eyes, set with the rather dull ideal of one day improving the future line of magic, power and succession within that family and allowing it to grow further. Any aberration that child has must be hidden. Why, this might actually be the first time anyone's ever told me that they appreciate me being just the way I am."  
  
"It's true though," Answers Oscar, voice still heavy from carrying his determination within it's words. "You're not in Tevinter anymore, Dorian. I'm not going to expect any more or any less from you than what you can give. You are valuable exactly the way you are. Whatever you do, whoever you choose to be -- that _is_ you. You came to help the Inquisition _by yourself._ You chose to stay even after what we've been through and what we’ve seen so far together of your _own_ decision. And you spoke with your father just now regardless of if he was deserving of it or not because that's what _you_ wanted. I would have been more than happy to get you out of that tavern as soon as it became clear to me that the situation wasn't a good one, but I refrained as it was your decision alone to make whether to listen to him or not. And if it means anything at all, as both your leader and your friend, I would have been proud of you no matter what you decided to do in that moment. In fact, I am still incredibly proud of you now. I know that meeting wasn’t easy for you by any means."  
  
A pause fills the air around them for a long moment. The words have surprised Dorian all the more, and Oscar can tell that he's not sure how to react or respond. Deep within his chest Oscar feels his heart ache terribly for him, knowing that although what he's said is honest and true, it is not something Dorian is used to hearing. He knows it’s very likely that Dorian may not truly believe him, either. After all, perhaps he has never even heard someone speak so truthfully about him in such a way before now; perhaps he's never been used to being talked about in a positive manner for once rather than the opposite. Those thoughts don’t sit well with Oscar.  
  
He catches sight of the way Dorian's adam’s apple bobs dubiously when he swallows his thoughts, attempting to pick up the fallen defences of the pride he clings to so dearly. Dorian reaches to press hand against his mouth as he clears his throat, shuffling from one foot to the other before returning his focus towards Oscar again.  
  
"I ... Thank you, Inquisitor," Says Dorian, no humour nor jest to his words for once. Simply appreciation. Oscar crosses his arms over his chest, eyebrows raising.  
  
"It's Oscar to you, Dorian. I’ve told you that more than enough times by now."  
  
Dorian's moustache twitches as he slowly begins to grin lopsidedly.  
  
"My apologies. Nonetheless, thank you for speaking such kind words," Dorian pauses --hesitates, really -- and Oscar tries not to stare at how it is his hand fidgets around where it clasps his staff. It's a quirk he hasn't picked noticed Dorian carry before now, although now he’s seen it Oscar begins recalling to his mind times where he’s spotted Dorian fiddling with the pages within a book or a piece of parchment during a few other conversations they've shared. Always during the more serious topics they would discuss, too. 

"You must understand that this is all a bit unbelievable to hear at times. You see to me it feels as if I have stumbled upon a unicorn by meeting you. You are constantly surprising me, and it does take me a moment to remind myself that out here in the South people view things quite differently than the way they do back within Tevinter. I suppose that's something I've not quite got my head wrapped around completely yet regardless of how long I’ve been here.."  
  
"Well, hopefully you'll manage to do so soon. And if you don’t, I'll just keep reminding you of how unique an individual you are."  
  
Oscar smiles, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall freely by his sides once again. He hears Dorian let out a brief chuckle, the sound much more natural than the forced attempt at laughter from earlier, and finally content that he is no longer questioning how Oscar sees him Oscar turns away, starting to walk along the pathway again. There are still questions on his mind, ones which Oscar cannot easily ignore. He had been willing to wait to ask them, but seeing as Dorian appears rather talkative now, he decides to push his luck just a little bit further.

"May I ask you something?" Oscar asks. Dorian glances at him from where he had caught up to walk beside him, and Oscar sees him nod.

"Of course."

"I ... don't wish to intrude. However, back when we were at that tavern, you mentioned that your father -- he tried to change you."

Oscar can't forget the moment. Dorian had been near to tears with his heated frustration, and the pain in both his face and voice had Oscar wanting to do nothing more than to get Dorian out and take him far away from whatever memories were haunting him. Dorian was always so proud and confident, and yet in that moment all of that had been pulled away, revealing a raw vulnerability. It felt … almost intrusive, almost.

"What did you mean by that, exactly?" 

Even now, when Oscar turns to Dorian as they walk, he can see the moment where something heavy seems to weigh upon him. As Dorian replies he tries to act as if he'd moved on from things with the time he’s had to himself, but Oscar knows him well enough to clearly see that the wounds of his past are still very much fresh, and that they still ran deep and raw. 

"Blood magic," Comes the softly spoken response. "You see, I made things very difficult for my father when I was younger, Oscar. I wouldn't agree to play him at his own game; wouldn’t settle down, marry the girl, bury everything unsavoury in his eyes and instead choose to live a lie while I screamed on the inside. I wouldn't take the paths he wanted for me to take, rather preferring to move forward in my own studies and training than work towards goals of becoming a magister or even the bloody Archon himself one day. Eventually I suppose he grew tired of not having a puppet for a son as well as desperate in figuring out how to control me in the way he wanted to. I found a selection of notes one day to a plan of his, mentioning a ritual he wished to carry out which would make me more … suitable to live and associate with."

Oscar's eyes grow owlishly wide. If it weren’t for how sincerely Dorian sounded as he spoke, he doubts he would believe of the horrors his father almost inflicted upon him. He wonders just how far Halward truly went in keeping his son miserable before Dorian felt the need to escape for the benefit of both his own sanity and safety.

"A mind wipe." Oscar replies thoughtfully, trying to comprehend within the boundaries of his own magical knowledge. Even then, the books at Ostwick Circle had never mentioned such a thing. Blood magic was a strictly forbidden art with the simplest and most harmful of spells, but this?

"No. Not a wipe, an act of altering the fundamentals of a person's individuality. It's been attempted before, but the records kept in our books here in the South never show success. The inflicted were always said to be left tranquil at best after. But then I’ve never even heard blood magic involved in some uses before now." Oscar pauses, turning towards Dorian and frowning deeply. "Could it have been possible for it to work with the use of blood magic?" 

"Who knows," Answers Dorian, sadly. "It very well might have. Then again, with the dangers involved it also could have left me a drooling vegetable. It crushed me to know that was what my father wanted. What he would have preferred. Anything was preferable to scandal in his eyes, it seemed."

"I can see how that would have hurt you to discover."

The thought alone makes Oscar feel sick. His own family had simply decided to disown him the day they had discovered his magical ability, and that alone had left Oscar wounded for years. But Dorian had aspired and look up to his father when he was young. Oscar can hardly imagine just how much a heart could shatter in discovering how the current version of a person could never be enough for the image of the father a son had loved so much. What it must have been like for Dorian to see just how far his own father would go for the family legacy rather than his own child, it must have been like living a nightmare.

"I’d hoped that maybe he wouldn’t want to go through with it, yet I’ll never know for certain. All I do know is this," Dorian continues, pulling Oscar out of his contemplations. "If my father had succeeded in changing me, it would not have been a version of myself I would have been content with. I can hardly imagine the person I would have become, but I know I wouldn't have liked that Dorian." 

Oscar slows to a stop once more, turning to Dorian with a look of both sympathy and sadness. Oscar can see the hurt in his eyes, and knows the pain runs deep within him. It likely always will, especially if, as Oscar half expects, Dorian still loves his father and hopes for his acceptance one day.

Without thinking Oscar takes a step towards Dorian, the twigs lying on the path beneath his feet snapping easily. He reaches out to place his hands above Dorian’s shoulders, his hold delicate yet secure. Dorian watches him with silent curiosity, and with no signs of discomfort Oscar arches between the small space between them both, pressing his lips lightly against Dorian’s forehead. After a moment Oscar recognises the way Dorian relaxes after how he had frozen at the unexpected action, finding some kind of comfort from it. Oscar feels his cheeks begin to grow warm but still he stays, before eventually moving away and providing Dorian with space once more.

"For what it's worth," Oscar begins to say, his voice soft as he attempts to reassure. "I like the Dorian I've come to know. The one that stands before me now. I wouldn't want you to change at all, and I'll never ask or expect you to."

Dorian breaks eye contact with him, looking around at anything he can find as he clears his throat. Oscar smiles to himself, fighting the way he suddenly wants to stare at the trees nearby himself. It is not a moment to be embarrassed, he tells himself. He can obsess over the choice of his actions and what their implications may assume to be later, when he is alone. 

"Enough about this, yes? We really should keep moving. We wouldn't want night to fall before we reach the campsite now, would we? Why, think of the search party that would start looking for us stragglers." 

Dorian straightens his posture, and Oscar knows it is a sign of his defences and masks back in play again. It is alright however, and Oscar nods before they both begin to walk once more.

They haven't finished speaking about the topic. They both know that. Him and Dorian will speak of Halward again, more times than just the once he imagines. It’ll likely be over a bottle of a wine at the tavern before they join a group game of Wicked Grace, or during some moment where the two of them choose to talk more about their respective upbringings one day. Perhaps not for a long while yet, but one day. The important thing is that Oscar feels confident in knowing that Dorian realises his personal matters are safe within his hands. That now if there’s anything that bothers him or that he wanted to talk about with someone, he has Oscar, and that Oscar’s not about to judge nor think any differently of him  
  
He’s certainly never going to expect Dorian to become something he’s not. After all, Oscar believes Dorian is perfect just the way he is. 


End file.
